Make it one for my baby, and one more for the road..

Happy Spring. So, I'm at Starbucks (absolute hipster style). Had to escape from the apartment because I need new carpets, yes, just a week in. Huge flood Sunday (kind of reminiscent to my life) and everything had to be torn up. So they are putting new ones in currently. I dropped puppy off to be groomed.. and now I'm trying to get through my homework, but apparently my ADD has kicked in and I'm doing everything but. Jogged my first 5k this Sunday for my beloved Debbi, and I was in the middle of an asthma flare up for a few days prior, so I was pretty excited when I didn't have to stop & I completed it in 35 minutes! So, on this apartment thing.. I can't believe it still. I have my place, my zen garden, that I have always wanted. Not that I planned, or expected this life change, but I'm learning to accept it everyday a little more and more. I'll end this on this note..life's not always what you expected, but take the bag you've been give, and rock the hell out of it! Cheers.

Starting Anew

So, today I start fresh (well, sort of). I move into my very own apartment, with my puppy of course. I'm alone, I'm scared, excited, confused, angry.. just moving along through them all. Sold the most valuable belonging to me yesterday. Even though some people don't agree with me, but a divorce is a death. It kills you inside, whether it was good or bad. Whether it was for the best or not. I do, still through it all, believe things happen for a reason. So let's see where this takes me.. I'm ready.

Where's the exit sign?

Can anyone tell me? Do you ever just look around and think.. how the hell did I get here and how the hell can I get out? I try to articulate the best way I can. I'm not perfect, nor have I EVER claimed to be. I have people come in and out of my life.. some I wonder where they went? Guess it's just another day. Definitely loner status.

I glady surrender myself to you..

As I sit here, on a deary Wednesday morning, my puppy in my lap, hot tea next to me, with Body and Soul blaring from my iPhone by Tony Bennett and Amy Winehouse. What a pleasant morning. Well, it's been awhile since I've blogged, but I'm back on the saddle.  I made my move, my big official move. I'm on my own again..starting anew. Scared as hell.. but I've fallen on my ass a few times to figure things out. Waiting on a very important phone call from a hospital I've always wanted to work for..and also waiting to here from the lovely state of NJ to see if my loan went through so I can finish this BSN.
..Ya know I must say, since I turned 23.. I've learned a hell of a lot about myself, people. relationships, where I want to be and what I deserve..I know you will continue to learn as you go on about life, grow older, etc. The one thing I now know is.. YOU CAN'T PLAN SHIT! You're plan will either happen, or not, or turn out completely opposite. I'm happy, excited for starting my life again, but at the same time sad, disapointed, this wasn't in my plans I say over and over. I still wish I could go to Bali and meet with Kiut Liar, and ask him where my life is going. Perhaps get a drawing that explains everything begins at the heart, and have four feet to ground you in this life. I also want to go to India and study with Buddhist monks. Well.. I guess all I can say is, here's to the future, wherever it may lead.. let it be a good one.

I'm beginning to see the light..

Literally. Fell off my beautiful, imaginary horse two days ago. We ( my husband and I) decided it's now or never. Day two.. no alcohol. We have a mission to change our lives and our choices before it's two late...so day two.

I'll be seeing you..

In all the old familiar places.

So, I'm beginning to think I pushed "play", too fast. I ran for an hour in the cold, and then sat outside in the cold for another hour.. just to avoid. It's funny the places I'm finding comfort in now. I hope this doesn't last forever, my biggest fear is a wasted life. Well, on another note.. pup got her shots today.. and she's now 3 lbs! YAY! My baby girl.. couldn't do it without her....

<3

A side note from old blog..

The blog I wrote that spoke of me saying that I feel I've pressed "pause", like in a video game. That I'm afraid to press play because I'm scared of what's to come. Either change or not. Either good or bad. Well, I've pressed play.. and I'm sure hoping that I win the game..